Alone?

When I am at my weakest, I feel so alone. Alone in my faith, alone in my journey. I've doubted whether God can hear me. I know it's silly, but sometimes I believe that I'm the only one who believes in God, in the sense that I'm on my own in my belief. Sometimes I believe that God ignores me.

And then, he shows up where I need him.


A few days ago, I text someone I trust to ask for prayer because of this fear and doubt.

A few moments later, my office phone rang. It was an old coworker. The first words out of her mouth were "You've truly been on my mind all day and I needed to call you."

To hear her say that to me made me feel like I'm worth it. I'm worth something.

The friend I text for prayer then text me: "You are HIS." 

I don't think we say this to ourselves enough. I am His.

I know we don't want to be selfish, but it's okay here. Look in the mirror and say "I. Am. His. ME. He loves ME."

My story may not seem like a lot. It may seem small and insignificant. But hearing her say that meant everything. I sent her an email to tell her that and she responded by saying

"He is in charge of the big stuff and the little stuff as well. He is our protector, our comforter, our everything. Just hold onto Him and the rest of the world really does not matter! Smile."


Pro-tip: Surround yourself with other strong Christians. You will need them. They may not believe exactly as you do. The majority of women I know who are Godly believe that men are the head of the household or that women shouldn't preach. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I still love them and respect their views of religion. I take comfort in them and in people who believe what I do, too.

Don't be afraid to ask for prayer. It's not selfish if it's necessary.

I'm still struggling with this feeling of fear and being alone, so much so that I'm going to see a counselor very soon. We are not always strong enough alone. Maybe that's why this fear is in me. I've been trying for so long to do it alone.